The title of this written piece represents the canvas on which the whole conversation is hold. Like writing on a wall, a piece of street art on a side street, is a public hidden gem. Feeling like losing contact with my creativity and sense of creating I had to go back to square one and strip everything down to the core of making. These are few thoughts that I had playing on a loop in my head. I call it noise.
Filtering the noise
Expectations. Whatever I would make it won't be good enough. Looking at creative people that I admire they seem to have a goal, message, a voice. Feeling that I don’t have one stopped me of even trying to make something.
Questioning. Not making, not having an outlet gave me too much time to question everything; calculating the odds of being successful and being able to provide. How can I make something new or different after thousands of years and millions of people that have created everything that is to create? Is it worth doing?
Time. I become more aware of the number of hours in a day. Between a full time job, commute and a newborn there is not much time that I have to spend making. Being such an important aced the payback needs to be equally valuable.
Resources. The starving artist is nothing but an over romanticised view. Finding it hard to justify spending any percentage of a limited bugged on something that will most likely end up in the skip. An investment with the biggest element of risk. Finding it even harder to justify it while these choices affects more than myself, a baby and a family.
Fitting in. At the beginning being an artist it was like a badge of honour, lately it didn’t feel like that. Dedicating everything to a dream that started over have a life time ago sometimes feels childish. While others around transform and move on, feels stuck in time to still continue being an artist’s while doesn’t quite pay off.
The louder the noise the better the story
Expectations. Done is better than perfect. It took a long time to trust that just making something for making sake is a good enough reason and sometimes the act of making is more important than the object itself. An artist always tries to find the balance between input and output. Input is when you soak in all the things around; you mix and filter them with personal experiences and feelings. Output is about what you do, make, and create with all that information. Without creation all that becomes still poisonous water.
Questioning. Everyone has a story and only you can tell yours best. Believing in what you are and what you make. Having more responsibility is the reason to carry on not the reason to stop.
Belief. Trusting the process is the most important thing. The act of making is the purest self expression; the hard thing is focusing on that and ignoring all the site quests.
Authenticity is the currency.